Second Week of Advent - Love

Company's coming!

This is how one writer reflected on the season of Advent -- asking us to consider how we prepare our house for company, and see if we might consider getting our spiritual life in order in these weeks of holy preparation. 

I've talked about this before, but I am a bit of a wreck when it comes to preparing for company.  My pattern goes something like this:

1. Approximately six weeks ahead, envision the most perfect gathering you can possibly imagine.  The house has transformed itself into something right out of Sarah Susanka's Not So Big House book, random clutter has not just been hidden, but it is gone because "everything has a place and everything is in its place."  For somehow in six weeks our lives will have been transformed.  Really.  It's possible.

2. Keep this fantasty going, doing nothing, for five weeks.  Oh, except invite additional people to the perfect gathering.  It keeps getting more festive!

3. About a week before the gathering, maybe it's Thanksgiving, experience a brief moment where there is a sickening feeling at the pit of your stomach.  Shuffle work around so you can take time off the day before.

4. Three days before at family dinner, begin preparing Matt, Alice and Andy and apologize in advance for the nervous breakdown which could very possibly occur at some point before the event.   Explain that you will do everything in your power to stay positive and welcoming. 

5. The day before, begin doing the things that could have been done the week before.  Like moving furniture around to accomodate this now huge group of people. 

6. The early morning of, do all of the things that could have been done the weekend before, like polish silver and iron napkins. 

7. The hour before, do all of the things that could have been done earlier in the morning, like clean the bathroom, arrange flowers and sweep the porch. 

8. The 1/2 hour before, begin nervous breakdown because your aunt has called and you forgot to pick her up.  Begin praying feverishly that no one will arrive on time.  

9. The ten minutes before, do all of the things that could have been done about an hour ago, like set out beverages and appetizers for guests. Scream at everyone to help you.  Make sure you scream like a crazy, mental hyena. When your wonderful brother, Gentleman Jim, arrives five minutes early, don't even let him come in, make him go pick up your aunt.  As he asks to be reminded where she lives, completely have a nervous breakdown. Just go crazy.  Scream at all of them.  You go, Madwoman of Chaillot. Just let it go, just in time for the masses to arrive. 

10.  When you see your parents arriving from the back, don't even wish them Happy Thanksgiving.  Just scream really loudly "What the hell is Aunt Charlotte's actual address??????"

Well, you get the idea.  A smaller version of this usually is in place for other gatherings as well.

And honestly, the events always go off fine.  In this case, my mother - weather worn from seven children and breakdowns of all varieties - simply got my Dad settled, announced that she and Jim would go to pick up my Aunt, and they would be back soon.  Matt, who I had just sworn at and hit in the arm as hard as I could when he said, "You almost made it honey!  You were so close.  Almost got there this time," laughed and continued the cooking.  Alice sort of rolled her eyes at me and created a log cabin creation of the crackers and cheese.  Andy just said "it's okay, Mom" and gave me a hug.  I went up into my bedroom, pulled my hair out for two minutes, gathered myself, and returned downstairs contrite.  All was forgiven, or at least accepted, and the doorbell rang.  The party began.

In any case, this is not how I want to get my spiritual house in order. 

But inside of this little story, there is love.  We love in our own ways, and it's a gift to discover how each person loves.  I love holidays and love gathering folks around.  My family loves me enough to forgive and laugh at my craziness -- thus keeping it in check for me.  My mom loves through slicing through the emotion of the moment and attending to what needs to be done (and in 1,000 other ways as well). 

So this second week of Advent, with the theme of love, I'm going to try to love my way through.  The pace increases, as various holidays come more crisply into view and end of year activity cranks up in advance of vacations and time away.  Daylight is sparse.  Love is a way through.